NOTICES FOR PARISH BULLETIN
In order to facilitate printing we ask that all notices
and anniversaries for the parish bulletin are either
given to the sacristan or left at the parish office
by Wednesday morning at the latest.
WHAT CAN I DO?
Helping the Bereaved
Like everything connected with bereavement, the way
you can be of practical assistance varies according
to the person and their circumstances. Be careful
not to take away their power to make their own decisions.
That does not mean they have to do everything themselves.
The ideal situation, I believe, is for those closest
to the bereaved to conduct the orchestra of helpers.
Especially in the days around the death, funeral,
and committal, there are many many practical tasks
to be undertaken. Some are related directly to the
death and funeral arrangements, many others to seeing
that the ordinary tasks of life go on as normally
as possible, such as providing food, house maintenance,
caring for children and elderly people, even taking
the dog for a walk.
If there is a large extended family they usually
rally round, but not always. If the bereaved person
is elderly or living alone, there are many more ways
you can help. The loneliest time is after a few weeks,
when the fuss and excitement has died down. Even a
year later, after the first anniversary has passed,
it can be very lonely, as everyone expects the bereaved
person to be 'over it'. Re-engaging in life without
a loved one, especially a partner, is a very difficult
and lonely period. It is a time when most people could
use a little help from their friends.
While the bereaved person is numb with shock, especially
following a sudden death, they may need most things
done for them. But it is often good for them to start
taking some decisions as soon as this stage has passed.
Decision-making means decision-making, not necessarily
carrying out the task.
Some tasks too, are difficult for certain people,
for example, coping with tax for some or working the
washing machine for others. Practical advice and help
can be invaluable.
LISTENING
Listening to a bereaved person telling their story
is one of the ways you can be most helpful. If you
were also close to the person who died, this may be
difficult for you, but don't feel guilty about it.
Bereaved people need a number of listeners and supporters.
Give what time you can without exhausting yourself
to the point where you begin to need help.
Many people are 'natural' listeners, and some seem
to be 'natural' talkers. We can all learn to listen
well though. There are some skills you can develop
to help you listen better, and I will list them, and
give a few guidelines to make it a little easier.
However the most important skill is to be yourself.
Genuineness comes across, and most of us know instinctively,
in fact immediately, if someone is really interested
or pretending.
ATTENTION
Attention is a simple concept. If I am preoccupied
with my own problems whether it be a toothache, the
roast in the oven which is burning, a row I have just
had with my husband or wife, or my mother dying of
cancer, I cannot give all my attention to listening.
Part of it is being drawn to whatever my preoccupation
is. So just listen, for as long as your attention
can focus on your friend. You can help to make the
attention span longer, by talking to someone else
about your problem, or, if possible of course, solving
it in a practical way, if that is the type of problem.
Remember the hurtful things, which happened many years
ago, can also pull our attention away from listening.
QUIET
Many conversations are a competition between two
or more people for each other's attention. As soon
as one draws breath, the other comes in with their
own similar experience. While each is talking, the
others 'buttons are being pressed', and they are focusing
on how to talk about their own experience rather than
listening, giving attention to the person who is recounting
their story.
It is not easy to remain quiet and literally 'keep
your mouth shut'. Practice in any conversation you
are having, and you may be surprised how quickly you
will feel compelled to interrupt.
It is occasionally comforting to know that the person
you are talking to has been through a similar experience,
that they 'understand'. But this can be communicated
with a simple phrase like 'I know'. I've been through
it myself', or 'I remember that part so well', or
whatever. What they do not need to hear is the details
of your story. Trust me on that, the temptation can
be very strong. It is a difficult tightrope to walk,
between quiet and pretence.
DEATHS
We offer our deepest sympathy
to the family and friends of:
Daniel Wright, Clady
Lila Doherty, Ballindrait
May they rest in peace.
ANNIVERSARIES
Cissie McCrossan, Rita O'Neill
Jim O'Neill, Sally McCosker
Annie Harron, Phine Porter
Mary Devlin, Gerry Taggart
Colette McKeown, Gerard Hill
Leo Campbell, John Campbell
Andy Madden, Mary McGarrigle
PRAYER GROUP
The contemplative prayer group will meet on Monday
at 8.15pm in the Parochial House. Newcomers very welcome.
This is an opportunity to experiment with a new form
of prayer, especially if you find that your present
methods are unsatisfactory.
ANNUAL MASS FOR THE DEAD
Fr. Boland will celebrate the annual Mass for all
our families and friends who have died in the past
year on Friday 13 November at 7.30pm.
PRAY FOR PRIESTS
The diocese published a prayer
card with the names of all the Derry diocesan priests.
Many of you have these cards and every day a specific
priest is named.
This week we ask you to pray
for:
Fr. Joseph Gormley CC, The Three
Patrons, 8 November
Fr. Eamon Graham PP, Banagher, 9 November
Fr. Patrick Grant, Deceased, 10 November
Fr. Karl Haan CC, Garvagh, 11 November
Fr. Eugene Hasson PP, Greencastle, 12 November
Most Rev. Seamus Hegarty, 13 November
Fr. John Irwin, Nazareth House, 14 November
PARISH DRAW
The Draw for the month of November will take place
in the parish office on Thursday 19 November at 2.30pm.
Promoters are asked to make their returns to the parish
office on Tuesday 17 November.
CONFIRMATION AND FIRST HOLY COMMUNION 2010
Confirmation will take place on Saturday 8 May 2010
at 11.00am for all Primary 7 pupils.
First Holy Communion for all Primary 4 pupils will
take place on Saturday 29 May 2010 at 11.00am.
CHURCH ROOF
We gratefully acknowledge the following donations
towards the repair of the church roof.
£40.00 £40.00. Many thanks.
HOLY FAMILY PADRE PIO PRAYER
GROUP
The Holy Family Padre Pio Prayer Group will hold their
monthly meeting in the Holy Family Church, Ballymagroarty
Derry on Monday 9 November starting with 7.30pm Mass.
There will be two 1st class relics of St. Pio at the
meeting. All are welcome.
CARMELITE RETREAT CENTRE
A one day retreat for Senior Citizens and their friends
from Derry and surrounding areas will take place at
the Carmelite Retreat Centre, Termonbacca, Derry on
Tuesday 10 November. Registration from 10.30am finishing
around 5.00pm. Cost £15.00 or €18.00 includes
a four course lunch. Payment at the Centre on the
day. To book Tel: Termonbacca Derry 71262512.
MASS FOR DECEASED TEACHERS
The Mass for the deceased teachers of the diocese
this year will be celebrated in St. Eugene's Cathedral,
Derry on Wednesday 11 November at 7.30pm. All welcome.
MASS FOR DECEASED YOUNG PEOPLE
A Mass will be celebrated for all the deceased young
people of the diocese in Holy Family Church, Ballymagroarty,
Derry on Sunday 15 November at 3.00pm. It will be
an opportunity for the family and friends of those
who have lost young loved ones to come together in
a spirit of prayer and consolation.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
The Sion Mills Area are holding a Public Information
Meeting on Wednesday 11 November at 8.30pm in the
Community Centre, Main Street, Sion Mills.
PICTORIAL DVD
'A Year in the Life of Camus Parish'
A pictorial DVD entitled 'A Year in the Life of Camus
Parish' is now available to buy. You can get your
DVD at the parochial house, the church or from St.
Vincent de Paul. Price £10.00.
THORNHILL CENTRE
As St. Luke’s Gospels will be used in the Sunday
Masses of the coming year, this 4 week course will
help us to appreciate the emphasis and focus of St.
Luke’s account of the life, death and resurrection
of Jesus. This course will take place in the Thornhill
Centre on Monday 9, 16, 23 and 30 November from 7.30pm
- 9.30pm. Cost £30.00 (payable in instalments).
To book telephone 71351233.
ST. VINCENT DE PAUL LUCKY
LOTTO DRAW
The numbers drawn were 13, 15, 22,
24.
There was no Jackpot winner. 4 matched 3 numbers:
Brendan MacIntyre, Ann Sweeney, Kevin Walsh, Anna
Tinneny. Jackpot for December is £1300.00. Next
Draw will take place on Sunday 6 December at 9.00pm
at Melmount parish bingo.
SET DANCING CLASSES
Set dancing classes started recently
in Gaelscoil Ui Dhochartaigh, Ballycolman Estate and
are very popular. The fee is £2.00 per night
and classes are on Mondays from 7.30pm - 9.00pm in
the school Hall.
ST. PATRICK’S
HALL
Bingo and Lucky 4 Draw as usual this
Thursday.
All our patrons are very welcome.
Bingo Snowball £2500.00
LUCKY 4 DRAW
There was 1 match 3 winner in last week's Draw
Sean Barr
The numbers drawn were:
2, 3, 6, 7
Next Week's Lucky 4 Jackpot is £1850.00
CEILI
There will be a ceili in St. Patrick's Hall on Sunday
15 November. Dancing from 8.00pm - 11.00pm. Music
by Gallagher & Logue. Admission £5.00 includes
supper.
