THE LESSON OF ANGER
(Part 2)
Hurt is present pain, while anger is often lingering
pain. As we gather these hurts and do not address
them, our anger grows. We can accumulate many hurts,
and it becomes hard to sort them out - eventually,
even hard to recognise the anger. We get so used to
living with the feeling that we begin to think of
it as part of who we are.
Besides becoming angry with others, we become angry
with ourselves, mad at what we did or didn't do. We
become angry because we feel we've betrayed ourselves,
often in trying to please others at the expense of
our feelings. We get angry when we fail to honour
our own needs and wants. We know we're at ''them''
for not giving us what we deserve, but we don't always
realise that we're angry with ourselves for not giving
to ourselves first. Sometimes we're just too stubborn
to admit that we have needs, because in our society,
need equals weakness. When we turn our anger inward,
it often expresses itself in feelings of depression
or guilt. Anger held internally changes our impressions
of the past and distorts our view of current reality.
All of this old anger becomes unfinished business
not merely with others but with ourselves.
We tend to bounce from one extreme to another, holding
our anger in and ''letting it blow'', blaming others
and blaming ourselves. We're not letting anger express
itself naturally, so it's no wonder we think it's
bad. It's no wonder we think people who yell are ill-tempered,
but just because we're not yelling, too, doesn't mean
we are at peace or free from anger.
KICKING THE JUDGEMENT HABIT
Some families are so critical that their children
grow up feeling bad and unworthy. Daily emotional
slaps and dings add up to a feeling that there is
something wrong with you. If you come from such as
family, you know the feeling doesn't end when you
finally escape to live on your own.
You still feel wrong and bad. And there's a voice
inside that keeps on attacking you - just like your
parents did. It's as if you've taken their judgements
with you, a dark inheritance from early life. This
habit of self-attack comes from the same belief your
parents had - that emotional beatings will correct
your flaws, punish your sins, and shape you into a
finer human being. But it didn't work then, and it
isn't working now. All it does is chip away at your
self-esteem.
Paradoxically, self-attacks and judgements are born
from hope - the hope that everything you hate in yourself
can be beaten into a more ideal shape. And with your
new perfected self, the old feelings of being bad
and wrong will finally heal. This hope can be addictive.
Each self-attack holds the promise of somehow making
you acceptable in your own eyes. It's hard to stop
- because if you cease the self-attacks, it feels
as if you'll lose your only chance to ever feel worthy.
When you honestly examine your experience, you know
it isn't true. The judgements only tear you down.
Never once have they brought you close to feeling
good about yourself. You need to kick the judgement
habit. Try following exercises to help you achieve
abstinence from self-attack.
Ironically, the first step in overcoming self-attack
is to change your pattern of judging others. For the
next week, listen to the radio news without making
a single judgement about any of the behaviour reported
in any story. Tell yourself that everyone is doing
the best they can, given their fears, needs, skills,
pain, and personal history. Continue to work on the
temptation to judge others by calling up a family
member whose opinions often raise your hackles. Throughout
the conversation practice a non-judging attitude.
Refrain from judging anything this person says as
right or wrong, good or bad.
Recall a scene from the past when you felt very wrong
and bad about yourself. Relive the scene moment by
moment. See the action; hear the dialogue. But this
time experience the events without judgement. Be aware
of how your needs, fears, skills, pain and history
shaped your choices. Notice yourself, at the time,
doing your best. Repeat this exercise with at least
three additional scenes.
COLLECTION
We acknowledge last Sunday’s
collection of £2139.00 Many thanks.
DEATHS
We offer our deepest sympathy to the
family and friends of:
Delia McCartney, 14 Melmount Villas
Vincent Doherty, 23 Peacock Road,
Sion Mills. May they rest in peace.
ANNIVERSARIES
Frankie Diver, Ita Browne,
James McKenna, James Duffy,
Francis McGillion, Kathleen Rushe,
Hugh O'Donnell, Joe Millar,
Madeline Healy, Hugh Doherty,
Francis Moss, Elizabeth Cooke.
PRAY FOR PRIESTS
Last year the diocese published a
prayer card with the names of all the Derry diocesan
priests. Many of you have these cards and every day
a specific priest is named. This week we ask you to
pray for:
Fr. Seamus Kelly PPVF, Culmore, 13th
July.
Fr. Edward Kilpatrick PP, Lifford, 14th July.
Most Rev. Francis Lagan, Auxiliary to Bishop of Derry,
15th July.
Fr. Charles Logue CC, Kilrea, 16th July.
Fr. Paul McCafferty, Diocesan Secretary, 17th July.
Fr. Bryan McCanny PPVG, The Three Patrons, 18th July.
Fr. Michael McCaughey CC, Waterside, 19th July.
LEGION OF MARY
Legion of Mary meets each Thursday morning after
Mass at 10.30am in the Church Conference Room. Work
consists of Rosary promotion in the parish, also visitation
of residential nursing homes in town and Lifford hospital.
New members welcome.
PARISH DRAW
We will be holding 2 Draws in July for the months
of July and August. We therefore ask promoters to
bring £10.00 per member when making their returns
in July to cover both Draws. Please make your returns
to the parish office on Tuesday 15th July. Both Draws
will take place on Thursday 17th July at 2.30pm in
the parish office.
150th ANNIVERSARY OF
APPARITIONS IN LOURDES
This year marks the 150th Anniversary of the Apparitions
of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Lourdes. Bishop Hegarty
has asked each Deanery in the Diocese to celebrate
the Anniversary with a Special Mass during the time
of the Diocesan Pilgrimage which will leave for Lourdes
on 16th July. The Mass for the Tyrone Deanery will
be celebrated in St. Mary's Church, Melmount at 7.00pm
on Friday 18th July. All are welcome to attend.
LOUGH DERG ONE DAY
RETREATS
August: 19, 20, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27,
31 September: 1, 2, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 13, 15, 16, 17,
20, 21, 22, 23, 24
Cost: 27 Euro includes boat fare and lunch.
If you would like to find out more information please
contact 071 9861518 (ROI) 028 68632391 (N.I.) or e-mail
info@loughderg.org
NEW COURSES AT THORNHILL
CENTRE
The following new courses are
planned for Thornhill Centre next term. For further
details contact the centre at 71351233.
Practical Theology & Spirituality
(Monday nights) -
I Year
Foundations in Literature
(Tuesday nights) - 1 Year
Prayer in Daily Life (Thursday
mornings) - 8 Weeks
Understanding Saint Paul
(Tuesday nights) - 4 Weeks
MEDJUGORJE IRISH CENTRE,
Located beside St. James Church, owned and managed
by the Mullan Family from Omagh is the meeting place
for all Medjugorje’s Irish Pilgrims. The Centre
provides information, restaurant, laundry, phone,
internet and foot massage. Apartment accommodation
from as little as 20 Euro per night. We can arrange
apartments, flights, airport transfers to and from
Split or Dubrovnik. If we can be of help please contact
us. Website: www.medjugorje-properties.comEmail: darren@medjugorje-properties.com
Phone Noelle 028 82241888 (ROI) 048 82241888.
FAIR DAY
Melmount Manor are holding a Fair Day on Saturday
19th July starting at 2.00pm. Everyone welcome to
come along.
ST. VINCENT DE PAUL
LUCKY LOTTO DRAW
The numbers drawn were 5, 11, 17,
23.
There was no Jackpot winner: There
were 16 match 3 winners who shared £300.00:
Kathleen McDermott, Kate McGinn, Anton McGrinder,
Patsy McCrory, Tony McAleer, Smith Family, Marion
Wallace, Mary McCormack, Patsy Barrett, Rosie Houston,
Martina Quigley, John Beattie, Ryan Henry, Fidelma
Doherty, Geraldine McMackin, Gerard McGrinder .
Jackpot for August is £1500.00.
Next Draw will take place on Sunday 3rd August at
9.00pm at Melmount parish bingo.
ST. PATRICK'S LUNCHEON
CLUB
St. Patrick's Luncheon Club are having a Social/Dance
on Monday 21st July in St. Patrick's Hall. Music is
by The Foot Tappers and supper is at 9.00pm. Admission
£5.00 or €7.00 (includes supper). Everyone
is welcome.
N.I. BLOOD TRANSFUSION SERVICE
A team from the N.I. Blood Transfusion Service will
be in St. Patrick's Hall on Wednesday 23rd July from
1.30pm - 4.00pm and 5.15pm - 8.00pm. The Blood Transfusion
Service would appeal for the support of all existing
blood donors and welcome new donors.
ST. PATRICK’S HALL
Bingo and Lucky 4 Draw as usual this
Thursday.
All our patrons are very welcome.
Next Week's Lucky 4 Jackpot is £2250.00
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PAYMENTS
BY CHEQUE
The Bank have
reminded us that all payments made to the parish
by cheque (for Parish Savings, Parish Draw,
Sunday and Special Collections etc.) must be
made payable to Church of the Immaculate Conception. |
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NOTICES
FOR PARISH BULLETIN
In order to facilitate
printing we ask that all notices and anniversaries
for the parish bulletin are either given to
the sacristan or left at the parish office by
Wednesday morning at the latest.
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| STRABANE
SIGERSONS GAA
No notes
this week.
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PRAYER CORNER
A PRAYER OF INTERCESSION
Flow over your creation this day,
O God
offering to the world the living water of your life
so that the seeds of compassion may break forth,
in the greening of new possibilities for good
and the blossoming of justice.
Warm our cold hearts with the flame
of your Spirit
so that we may feel again the passion of caring for
others,
leaping up in the sharp colour of action for trade
justice,
moving outwards in the fires of determination
that all the world may know a different day.
Take our hands, Jesus Christ,
leading us in courage to confront with courage
the forces which oppress and divide,
which exploit and tear from the people the fruits
of their harvests.
Take our hearts, Jesus Christ,
and open them to the truth which will set others free
to live.
Amen.
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WHERE CAN I FLEE FROM YOUR PRESENCE?
O Lord Jesus Christ,
when we wake each day as the sun rises,
when we kneel in silence and speak to you in prayer,
when we come to the altar and receive your body in
our hands,
when we study your Word and try to understand,
when we wash our clothes with our hands in a bucket
of water,
when we stir up fire and blow it into flames,
when we meet, laugh together and share our stories,
when we ride on the back of a truck with dust in our
eyes,
when we are burnt on the sun as we walk the roads,
when we stand in the mud of our garden,
when we work in the plantation and the sweat runs
down,
when we cook food in the smoke of the kitchen,
when we are hungry and share together the food you
provide,
when we are tired and dirty and swim in the river,
when evening comes and the oil lamps are lit,
when we lie down to rest in the darkness of the night
O let us be filled in all these things with love for
you,
let us never forget that you are always with us
and all our lives belong to you.
Amen.
